7 June 2013

Why doth ye sucketh so Diablo 3?

Diabolo 3 promised so much. I pure ordered the game gripped by a fervour of excitement which makes the disappointment all the more bitter.

If you like tiny one-dimensional characters, carpel tunnel and colourful numbers, then this is the game for you. I Don't enjoy any of those "gameplay mechanics".

What about multiplayer I hear at least one of you mumble? Well, I tried it once and ended up roaming a graveyard completely alone for 5 minutes. Then O threw my laptop in the bin.

The story is pretentious nonsense that not even the most anal of fantasy fans would give two Orc shits about. The narrative takes itself so seriously I found myself laughing in despair at its po-faced delivery.

I return to it now and again, on the off chance that it is me that's flawed, and the game isn't actually a repetitive exercise in tedium and hand pain.

Nope, it's not me, its you Blizzard. I thank the gaming gods I'm not the sort of sddictive personality that would find this compelling.

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